Regrets, Nana Has a Few

In my last post I wrote about ten things that I had done right to prepare for retirement.  Today I address the things that I would do differently.

Plan:  I made the decision to retire quite suddenly.  Although I was eligible for full retirement, I didn’t have an exit plan in place.  I made the decision to retire when I lost total respect for the people I worked for and it became too difficult to continue to pretend that everything was okay.  Granted there was talk of changes to the actuarial tables that would have impacted the amount of my monthly benefits, but for me it was an emotional, not reasoned,  thought process that led to my decision.  Other bloggers have related accounts of their retirement plans; all in all I think that it is probably wiser to devise an exit strategy at least six months before a retirement date.

Take full advantage of employment related benefits:  There were benefits that I received as an employee that are not available to me in retirement.  Before retirement I should have had all my dental work done since my post-retirement plan does not include dental.  Six months before your final retirement date, get in to see your dentist and doctor and get EVERYTHING checked and fixed.  Because I retired with only 30 days notice, I didn’t have time to get an appointment with my dentist and get a few things fixed before my insurance expired.  My employer also offered an Employee Assistance Program that offered, among other things, free access to counseling.  Heck, it was free.  I should have taken the three free counseling sessions and had some assistance coming up with a post-retirement plan.

Start saving for retirement sooner:  I had retirement savings, but they took a big, well really gigantic, loss in the stock market crash a few years ago.  They are starting to recover but I wish I had more in savings to supplement my income from my pension and future social security income.  When I was younger I didn’t think about retirement.  Had I listened to advice and acted on it, I would have a lot more money in the bank.

Decide where and how you want to live in retirement and act on it before you retire:  If I were buying a house to live in for retirement, I wouldn’t buy the house I now live in.  If, for example, the spouse or I had to use a wheelchair, my current house is not fully accessible.  Although it is all on one level, there are stairs at both the front door and rear that would make getting in the house a challenge.  There is nothing that stops us from downsizing now, but  my sense is that it would have been easier to secure funding (and pay it off) while we were both still working.

Get a hobby or a plan for staying active:  The first few months of my retirement were a challenge for me.  After the retirement trip to Hawaii and cleaning out my long neglected garage, I had no plan for what to do with my days.  I am still envious of the people with well thought out retirement plans that include a bucket list of activities.  I’m still fumbling around doing whatever pleases me at the moment.  There’s nothing that stops me from creating a plan now, other than I’m quite happy doing nothing.  Unfortunately, there’s a little voice inside me that isn’t happy about my slothful behavior.

Build relationships with other retired people:  When I retired my friends were all still working.  It is only now, two and a half years later, that I am starting to build relationships with other retirees…and that is a challenge for a recluse!  I’m comfortable going to a matinee or shopping by myself and it is a pleasure to do these things during the week when they aren’t crowded, but it is also fun to have a friend along.   

Make a commitment to exercise:  Remember these are things that I wish I had done, not things that I did!  I have the time now so there are no excuses (except it’s really hot today.)  Commit to exercise several times a week.  There are days that I realize I didn’t leave the house…I should at least be walking or riding my bike a half an hour a day.

I wish I were one of those people who lives life without regret.  I’m packing around a boatload of regrets.  Sometimes it’s easy to fix…I can return that sweater that made my daughter comment, “Mom, what were you thinking!”  Sometimes it’s a missed opportunity that might never come my way again.  I may be piddling away my retirement years, but I don’t regret the decision to retire. 

10 Things Nana Did Right to Prepare for Retirement

The list of things that I should have done to prepare for a comfortable retirement is long, but today I'm writing about the few things that I did do right, not because of good planning but mostly by luck.

1. Pay off your mortgage:  When I retired we had no mortgage.  I had read once somewhere about the cost of mortgages and how much you can save if they are paid off early.  The last time we moved we got a 15 year mortgage rather than a 30.  Occasionally, when we could afford it, we paid an additional sum on the principal.  Once our children graduated from college we had more disposable income and we accelerated our payments. Once our mortgage was gone, we didn’t increase our spending, but rather increased the amount we saved each month.  (Well, we did spend a little more on upgraded vacations!)  Owning our home allows us to maintain our lifestyle at a lower total monthly cost.

2. Pay off outstanding debts:  We are debt free.  If we use a credit card, we pay off the balance every month.  Our cars, our boat, our toys are all paid for.  When we bought our RV a few months ago, we paid cash.  Even with low interest rates, there is a cost to using credit.  I prefer to use that money to enhance my lifestyle rather than provide profits for a credit card company.  Because we are debt free, it is easy for us to manage our monthly bills.  Our monthly living costs are pretty low.

3. Live below your income:  We have always lived within our income.  When we were first married and had entry level jobs, we lived paycheck to paycheck…but we did not rack up credit card debt.  Our credit cards were really a safety net, used only in an emergency when we didn’t have money to pay for an unforeseen event.  If we had to use them, we made paying off the balance a priority in our budget.  We have never lived large.  Once we started earning more than subsistence level salaries, we started saving.  We spend less each month than we take in.  We don’t buy anything until we have the money to pay for it or until our monthly income is large enough to absorb payments. 

4. Try living on your retirement income before you take the plunge:  My husband has not yet retired.  He would like to retire in the near future.  He does not have as generous a pension plan as I do, so we know his retirement will reduce our total income.  Since I retired we have lived on his income only and banked my pension checks each month.  This has provided us with some insights into living on a reduced income, and safely allowed us to explore if total retirement at a reduced income is comfortable for us.  It has also been a good transition period for me.  We have not dramatically changed our lifestyle, but I am not as free-wheeling at spending as I used to be when I worked.   I know that it takes much longer to rebuild our checking account balance at our reduced monthly income level.  If my husband were to retire now, we know we would have to change our spending habits to live below our income.  It’s a balancing act and we’re trying to find the perfect tipping point for us.

5. Have a back-up plan for increasing income:  A part-time job is a good financial safety net for retirees.  I am fortunate to have a teaching license that allows me to substitute in our local schools.  Because substitutes are in high demand in our area, I can work as much or as little as I like.  I use the money I earn substituting to pay for vacations and flights to see my grandchildren.  I substitute one or two days a week.  If I don’t feel like working, I don’t have to accept a job.   For me, a recluse by nature, it forces me get out of the house and interact with people…and I’ve taken quite a few vacations on the money I earned without diminishing my account balance.

6. Start saving early: When my children were toddlers I purchased US savings bonds every month by having the cost deducted automatically from our checking account. After a few months, we didn’t miss the money.  Every month those bonds came in the mail, one for each of my two children and one for my husband and me, until the bank ended the program.  The children used their bonds to help pay college costs and we still have our stack of bonds to use in retirement.  Both my husband and I took advantage of retirement saving programs offered by our employers.  It is surprising how that money has grown over the years.  I do regret that we didn’t save more aggressively, but I am thankful that we took the small steps that we did.

7. Have a plan for medical insurance: I could retire early because my employer pays the majority of the cost of my and my spouse’s medical insurance until I am eligible for medicare.  Cost of private insurance with my pre-existing conditions would be prohibitive.  When I started working for my former employer, I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the early retirement options in my contract because retirement seemed a long way off.  I was fortunate to be able to take advantage of this benefit.  As you approach eligibility for retirement it is smart to review your employment contract so you know if keeping your employer's medical plan is an option. 

8. Get familiar with your employer’s retirement qualifications and benefits:   Many retirement benefits are being renegotiated in light of the current financial crisis.  It is important to keep on top of changes.  I retired before changes in actuarial tables would have reduced my benefits.  A good friend of mine retired this year from the Oregon education system because a change in her negotiated contract would end her entitlement to seven years of district paid medical insurance.  She decided to retire before the new provisions took effect and that allowed her to keep a benefit that is worth well over $100,000.00 to her over the next seven years.

9. Walk away: Emotionally it was difficult for me to let go of my work life, perhaps because I made the decision to retire only a month before my final day of work.  I didn’t try to hang on to elements of my former life.  No lunches with former coworkers and/or dropping by to say hello. After Christmas when everyone went back to work, I went to Hawaii.  I wasn’t available for questions because I wasn’t at home.  It helped me to make a clean break.

10.  Enjoy

My next post I’ll tell you about the things that I should have done before retiring.

Nana Discovers Craig's List Isn't Just Scams and Prostitution

The spouse and I have been looking for an RV for almost a year. Since we haven't won the lottery yet, we've been searching for the illusive gently used, low mileage, like new but cheap RV. We've looked at vehicles that give the impression they'll collapse in the first stiff wind and others that have served as mold incubation labs. We've met some interesting characters...my first thought being "Would you buy a used car from this person? Would you sleep in a bed this person owned?" My nose has been assaulted by unrecognizable, unpleasant odors and my eyes burned by viewing so many orange and brown color schemes with chunky shag carpet. I had begun to think that we would never find a reasonably priced clean RV.



I read the want ads, searched the Nickel Ads every week, and surfed the Internet. Every evening I checked Craig’s List for new RV postings. Numerous times I found what I thought was going to be the perfect RV, only to find that both words and pictures don’t tell the whole truth. When searching for an RV, it would be very helpful if Craig’s List had a smell-o-vision feature.


I had several opportunities to be scammed. Early in the search I found a low mileage, fairly recent vintage RV for a very good price. There was no phone number listed, but an email address. I responded to the ad and asked the seller to call me because I was interested in seeing the RV. I got an email back that told me the seller had be transferred overseas and that the RV was at a shipping facility and we could buy it through Pay Pal and have it shipped. SCAM! Several weeks later I saw the same picture of the RV on another ad on a Craig’s List listing in another city. There are a lot of opportunities to be scammed on Craig’s List. I was leery of every ad that sounded like a good deal, especially when they didn’t include a phone number for a supposed local listing.


I found our RV on Craig’s List and the ad didn’t include a phone number. I almost didn’t respond because it sounded too perfect. I was pleasantly surprised when we drove to Walla Walla to see it that it was as nice as advertised. A few minor scratches, but it smells good! It has only 24,000 miles on the engine and only 40 hours on the generator. It’s relatively small, only 24 feet. Our search for the perfect RV is over.


The seller of our “new” RV was the son of the owner. His father had purchased it new when he retired. He had intended to travel with his wife. His wife got ill and never recovered enough to travel. After she died he took a few trips by himself. Recently he moved into an assisted living facility.


When I pay attention I find lessons everywhere. The RV was a great deal for us, but when we use it, I will think about its former owner who didn’t have the time to enjoy his retirement. My plan is to have many years to explore in our RV, but none of us know how many good years we will have. That’s an important lesson to remember.

Nana Reflects on Retirement

I recently wrote a comment on a blog that said something like “If I’ve learned anything from retirement, it’s…” Which got me to thinking about what I have learned over the past two years of being retired.

 

• There are very few things that can’t be done tomorrow, or never if I don’t get around to it.

• Activities expand to fill available time.  It now takes me three times a long to get something done that I used to do after work, while I made dinner.  Activities that used to be tacked on to other chores have become primary activities. Whew! Sometimes you just need to take a nap.

• There are very few things that I absolutely have to do. I no longer have to spend time with people I don’t like or respect. My social calendar is smaller, but much more enjoyable. It takes a lot to nudge me away from home. I no longer attend “duty” events. If I don’t want to do it, I don’t. With no excuses necessary.

• It took me two years to be comfortable letting go of my work identity. I can now say simply “I’m retired” without going into what I used to do. I’ve let it go.

• It was difficult to let go of the “busy” excuse. I am no longer “busy” in the sense that my time is externally controlled, but I’m still not cooking gourmet meals, keeping a spotless house, or organizing get- togethers with friends. I can’t blame these failings on being busy; I just do only what I want to do now. I’m not busy, face it...I'm just a bad cook, careless housekeeper, and a recluse.

• It’s okay to stay up late. I don’t need an alarm clock to wake up. I can take a nap if I want to.

• I still don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing in retirement. I don’t even have a Bucket List of adventures and challenges to accomplish. In fact, I’m less interested in travel now because I don’t have to get away to be able to relax.

If I had to do it over again, I'd probably plan better.  Or, maybe not.  There's nothing to stop me from planning now, except I'm so busy...

 

Nana Looks Back to the Future

I found this piece of writing while cleaning out an old flash drive.  It was written when I was assistant principal at the high school.  Now that I have been retired for over a year, it is fun to look back and remember what I looked forward to in retirement. It's every bit as good as I hoped it would be!


Occasionally, on cold, dark mornings when I wake before the 5:45 alarm, I stay curled up between my cozy flannel sheets and entertain the fantasy that I have the power to call off school. Ahh, to remain in my snug nest, at least until the first glimmers of sunrise appear! To spend the day, snowed in, with a cup of tea, a novel with no educational value, and a cat curled at my slipper-shod feet would be heaven. I might even make time to watch “The View” or check in to see who joins Reggis as the inept guest host du jour.

This, however, is a fantasy that doesn’t last long.  In reality, when we have a snow day I’m awakened with a phone call from the principal long before my alarm is scheduled to go off.  I leave my flannel nest even earlier than usual to start making calls to staff to notify them that school is cancelled. I arrive at school well before first light to start answering phone calls from students and parents.




I know, better than anyone, that I don’t want to have the power to cancel school.  It is truly a thankless task.  Regardless of the decision that is made, 50% of the population will be unhappy. When school is cancelled, the parent in town will look out the window at the plowed and sanded city streets and complain that those school people will use any excuse not to work. When school goes on as scheduled the rural parent will look out at the snow blown landscape and complain that those school people don’t care about the safety of kids. No matter what we do, we can’t win.

 The general public doesn’t realize how carefully the decision to cancel or delay school is made. Our assistant superintendent and the bus company representative actually drive the bus routes starting at 4:00 A.M. to decide if it is safe for the buses to be on the road. Even if it’s safe to travel, the assistant superintendent must then consider if the school sites are safe for students once they arrive at school. Consider how many feet of sidewalk must be cleared at each of the seven Hermiston schools just to get kids safely from the buses to their classroom. Then think about clearing parking lots so staff can park. All this is done by our regular school maintenance staff.  There is no special SWAT snow removal team on standby ready to spring into action.  An early morning snowstorm doesn’t leave much time for maintenance staff to get a school ready for 500 elementary students.


Snow days aren’t much fun for me now. On our last snow day I spent the morning answering the same questions over and over again.

 “Yes, school is cancelled.”
I was actually still getting this question two hours after school should have started.


“Yes, the roads in town are clear now but rural roads have not been sanded and the bus company felt it was unsafe to send out the buses.”


I still have the fantasy. Maybe when I retire I’ll enjoy the snow days more. Or, better yet, I’ll enjoy sleeping late, trashy novels, and mugs of tea everyday!

Nana Breaks Out the Holiday Sweaters

My daughter hates themed clothing, yet I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  I am a teacher.  It is practically required for teachers to own seasonal clothing.  Even now that I am retired it is difficult for me to pass up a sale on Christmas sweaters.  Last year when I was shifting my wardrobe from winter to spring, I actually tossed several holiday sweaters in the Goodwill bag in an effort to move my wardrobe to retirement wear.  Remembering this, it was a surprise to me to find that I still had at least five Christmas sweaters when I opened up my sweater storage box last week.  Unlike some of those hideous sweaters that you see on the Internet, I like to think that my sweaters are tasteful and classic.  My daughter rolls her eyes and says "Mom, are you trying to look like a teacher?"


As I searched google images for a picture to go with this posting, I began to rethink my daughter's position on themed clothing.  Page after page of red and green sweaters adorned with reindeer and sparkly stars assaulted my eyes.  Maybe my daughter is right?


But, there's something so festive about wearing red during the Christmas season.  And, if there's a few sequins...even better!  I didn't buy any new seasonal sweaters this year.  I did, however, find a turtleneck with a small, tasteful, candy cane embroidered on the neck.  It will be perfect under one of my red sweaters.  So I guess one of my adjustments to retirement is transitioning my wardrobe to non-teacher style.  I'm cutting back on holiday "professional" wear and adding more jeans. 


As I curb my dependance on gaudy sweaters, I can always embellish with accessories.  Teachers also have accessories, usually in the form of chunky wooden jewelry.  I have quite a collection of seasonal themed pins ...my daughter hasn't said anything about not wearing seasonal jewelry.

Nana Panders to Seniors

A week or so ago I wrote a post about adjusting to being a senior citizen.  I wrote the post using Windows Live Writer, a free program that I am just learning how to use.  I heard about it reading the blog of technogranny, one of the followers of this blog.   I thought that Live Writer might have enhanced capabilities and I'm sure I'll be dazzled as soon as I figure out all the features.  When I posted the piece to Blogspot the type was different from my usual postings and I couldn't seem to adjust the typeface.  I wound up just using the "Large" font size.  A reader commented that he enjoyed finding larger print on my blog. 

Light bulb moment....  

...if I'm writing a blog about adjusting to retirement and becoming a senior citizen, then maybe I should publish this little blog in a typeface that most of us of a certain age appreciate: LARGE PRINT!

And you younger readers, get used to it.  Trust me, there will come a time when you will really appreciate good lighting and large print.

Nana Adjusts to Being a Senior Citizen

My new AARP membership card came in the mail last week. This Saturday I will turn 60. Sixty! That’s three score! Where did the time go? It seems like it wasn’t so long ago that I wasn’t trusting anyone over thirty…and now I’m twice that age.


Sixty is a benchmark, the gateway to the senior years. The junk mail from the Scooter Store and flyers on low cost burials are filling my mailbox. I imagine that I’ll start getting coupons for Depends and Assure any day now. I am already enjoying some of the benefits of reaching my golden years, delicious meals in smaller sized portions at fine dining establishments like Denny’s and a 10% discount at Ross Dress for Less on Geezer Day (known to the younger set as Tuesday.)


The spouse and I took a cruise in September. The boat was filled with older people. It came as a shock to me when, in a brief moment of enlightenment, I realized that they weren't older people, they were my peer group. I am a senior.


After a year and a half I still haven’t fully adjusted to retirement. I’ve gotten used to checking “retired” on the employment box on forms and I no longer get out of bed in the morning when it’s still dark, but in the back of my mind I still feel like this is a temporary state,  an extended summer vacation.  I can’t really grasp the idea of never working again.  It’s not like I’m knocking on doors looking for work; I actually quite like not having any responsibility. But, I still read the want ads and I have a closet full of suits that I can’t bring myself to get rid of.


I recognize that I’m in the leading edge of the baby boomers. So many of us are moving into retirement and our senior years. Does everyone struggle with adjusting to the changes that come with age and retirement?


Sixty! One more year and I’ll have to change the name of this blog.

Nana Remembers Why Retirement is a Good Idea

I had three days at home this week in between vacation trips. On Friday I substituted at the high school for half a day. All of the class sizes are huge this year because budget cuts have reduced the number of teachers and, of course, our enrollment is up. The teacher had left a very well written and organized lesson plan and had made the copies of the worksheets he wanted completed. Since this was my first substitute teaching assignment since school started, I was grateful to have a detailed lesson plan.

The class was language arts for second language learners. The students are at various stages of English language development, but all of them speak at least a little English. I took attendance and several times I had to remind them to quiet down so I could hear. They were a chatty group...which, while it is a really a good characteristic for a group that you want to learn English, is frustrating when you're trying to take roll.

Students were sitting at four large tables with 7 to 10 students at each table. The broad theme of the lesson was the circles of influence that have shaped each of us. We read a poem and discussed its meaning. The author painted a picture in words of his past that made him the person he is today. The example poem by George Ella started as "I am from clothespins, from Clorox and carbon-tetrachloride." Students were then asked to write their own poem. It was fairly easy for a native English speaker, harder for a second language learner. They were writing stuff like:
I am soccer and basketball. I am a son and a brother. I am...fill in any special interest, you get the idea.

There were several touching "poems" that spoke of dead or divorced parents or specific challenges that the students had faced. I am always surprised that students share so much of their personal pain in classroom assignments. But, most of them were filled with run of the mill descriptions of typical American or Mexican-American childhood.

Getting them to start writing was a challenge. Half the class amused themselves by asking to go to the bathroom. "Please Mrs. I really have to go" pleaded one boy. The class had just come from a 45 minute lunch break and the teacher left directions that no one should be excused. I finally gave in and let a girl go because "It's a girl emergency, Mrs."  Yeah, she knows how to play her cards.

I circled the room prodding kids to get started and suggesting topics that might have been a part of their childhoods that impacted who they are today. "What did you play with when you were little? What did you watch on TV? Do you go to church? How do you celebrate holidays?"

Pulling teeth...I was pulling teeth and every time I needed to talk to the class I had a long time to wait for them to stop the chatter. One table was especially resistant to working. While I continued to try to get them to write, a student at the table told me that his name was "Pito." The rest of the kids giggled.
"It's true, Mrs. My name is Pito. They call me Pito" and the rest of the group smothered their laughter and one kid said "He calls himself Pito." Giggles all around...

I knew enough not to repeat the name. "My name is Pito. You can google it" he said. So I called his bluff.

The Urban Dictionary gives several definitions...none of them appropriate for a classroom. It's either a rolled cigarette such as a marijuana joint, slang for penis in Mexico and/or someone with a very low IQ. It is usually used in place of someones first name to be made into an insult referring to them.

What I wanted to say was "I don't need this bulls**t.  Shut-up and get to work."   But, being a former school administrator, I know that they frown on that kind of language in the classroom. Well, the kids use it, but teachers really shouldn't.

...and that is when Nana remembered why retirement was a good idea.   I really don't need this bulls**t!

Nana Wonders What She’s Up To These Days…Retirement isn’t just one long vacation, is it?

When I run into people who I haven’t seen for awhile, I’m always asked “What are you up to these days?”   It’s a hard question to answer.  The rules of social discourse require that I have a brief one or two sentence reply.  It’s one of those questions like “How are you?” and people expect a simple answer. When I was working the answer was easy. I could respond with the title of my job of the moment. “I’m retired” doesn't really answer the question.  What, exactly, am I up to?

Lately my answer to the question has been “Well, I’ve been traveling quite a bit.” I am filling my calendar with vacations, one after the other. I just decided to go to Texas this weekend to attend my granddaughter's 5th birthday party.  Next week I am going to San Diego for a few days to visit family and attend a wedding (of a cousin who I have never met.) Then I am home for a few days before we leave for a cruise to Alaska. There are a few things on my calendar in September and I need to get back to Texas to see the granddaughters, but then there is nothing…so I’m searching the internet for good deals on travel in October. Because how would I answer the question if I didn’t have a trip planned?

I had what Oprah calls an "aha" moment this morning as I was perusing the rates for condos in Hawaii. I like to travel, but I have to wonder if I’m using travel so I don’t have to think about planning for a life in retirement. Retirement can’t be just about one vacation after another can it?

Real life doesn’t lend itself to easy, two sentence responses. Here’s what I’ve really been up to:

“I got two bags of crap from Woot and now I’m waiting for the next Woot Off.”  It is impossible to explain Woot, Bags of Crap, and Woot Offs in two sentences!  I've had extended conversations with people about Woot and they still don't understand what I'm talking about.  Frankly, it's sometimes difficult for me to understand why I spent so much time trying to get a BOC that included two High School Musical Alarm Clocks and a Marvel action figure.

“Well, I’ve watched every episode of The Real Housewives of New York and New Jersey."   It doesn’t take two sentences to explain this one, but really, even I have a hard time caring about this topic and I watched the shows.

“Lately, I’m all about the blog. I have a worldwide readership of 38 followers!”   This I say with sincerity, pride and enthusiam,  but when I mention the blog to non-bloggers, I am rewarded with a blank stare. Again, more than two sentences are needed.


I’m thinking about writing a novel. Not so much because I believe that I’m the next James Patterson, but because it gives me an easy answer to what I’m up to.

“I’m working on my first novel. It’s a mystery set in a small, rural eastern Oregon town and my main character is a smart, personable retired teacher who blogs.”  How long does it take to write a novel? This response should be good for at least the next year or two. Then I’ll have to start traveling again.

Nana Adjusts to Retirement

I have a long list of things to accomplish today, but all I feel like doing is writing. The gift and the curse of retirement is the ability to manage my own time. So I filled the sink with soapy water, cleaned off the counter tops and started the dishwasher…and sat down to write. I’ve got all day to get to the things on my list, but inspiration for writing is fleeting.


I have been melancholy today. Over on my other blog I wrote about my oldest granddaughter ‘s birthday and her rapidly approaching first day of school. I am sad not to be with her for her birthday, but for some reason airfare to Austin is ridiculously expensive right now. It is cheaper to go to Hawaii or London than to Austin, Texas. So, I’m home with my list of tasks, none of which is very exciting.

Teachers in Hermiston are getting ready to go back to school. Inservice starts next week and this is the second year that I haven’t had to attend. (I can’t believe that I have been retired for more than a year!) Sunday night after talking to a friend who is still working at the schools, I was relieved that I got to sleep in on Monday instead of attending planning meetings and organizing training. Today, well rested after awakening at a reasonable hour,  I am missing the energy of a new start.

In Walmart I walked right past the displays of school supplies. I love school supplies, but my desk drawers are filled with pencils, pens and sticky notes. I just gathered up a bunch of three ring binders and dumped them in my Goodwill box. But I can’t help but glance at the binder display at Walmart and yearn to buy one. I am tempted by the price of glue to stock up, but then I remember the three bottles I have from a previous urge that I couldn’t resist. It is hard to let go of habits formed by years of back-to-school tradition.

In retirement I bumble around seeking to establish new patterns and new traditions. I don’t think of myself as resistant to change, but that doesn’t mean that change is easy. I can no longer operate on automatic pilot.  I have to think and plan what comes next because that calendar is no longer imposed on me.  I no longer have to wait for Thanksgiving break or Christmas break to take a vacation.  My vacation length is no longer dictated by the number of vacation days or the school calendar.  Now that anything is possible, I find it hard to decide what is preferable. 

This year when teachers and kids head back to the classroom, I’m taking a cruise to Alaska. It’s a little more expensive than glue and binders, but there was a great sale. It satisfies my need to get a good deal and fills the void.

This afternoon I’m going to call a friend who is an elementary principal and see if he has a student or two who need school supplies. Maybe I can still get some school shopping done!