WTF Wednesday: Sanitized For Your Protection

WTF Wednesday is a semi-regular feature of this blog. It documents the things that have made me pause, slap my forehead and say "What the f**k!" Well, that and I just like saying WTF. I'm retired. I don't have to watch what I say anymore. I'm not any one's role model.

For two summers when I was in college, I worked as a motel maid for a Best Western Motel in Canoga Park, California.  Every morning I jumped on my Honda 55 motorcycle and chugged from Granada Hills to Canoga Park to make beds, vacuum, and sanitize for your protection.  The job definitely ranked in the bottom ten percent of jobs, and I joyfully returned to college at the end of each summer.

For someone who doesn't like to clean, motel maid was not a perfect job fit.  There were three or four maids on duty each day.  At lunch time we all met in a vacant room to eat lunch and watch Days of Our Lives.  The rest of the day I was on my own changing sheets and cleaning up disgusting messes...oh, and sanitizing for your protection.

The head maid "trained" me how to sanitize the toilet and then slip the paper ring over the seat.  She actually stuck her hands in the toilet to scrub.  The few times I actually cleaned a toilet I suited up with elbow length plastic gloves.  Most of the time I skipped the scrubbing part of the routine, the toilet usually looked clean enough to me, and I went right to just putting on the paper ribbon to certify the stool as sanitized.

You probably don't want to hear that I sanitized the drinking glasses with the same carefree attitude.  I ran them under the cold water in the sink, dried them with a bath towel and shoved them in the "sanitary envelope."  Ewwww! 

Memories of my summer as a motel maid came flooding back to me last month when I was visiting Austin, Texas.  My daughter and I went out to dinner at Chuy's and this was how the flatware was presented on the table...

WTF???

I wondered if the staff at Chuy's was as conscientious as I at sanitizing...just in case, I cleaned my silverware with my napkin before eating. 

Another Fun Evening With David Sedaris

Last night my daughter, Sarah, and I attended a reading by David Sedaris at the Long Center For the Performing Arts in Austin, Texas.  This is the third time we have seen him read in Austin.  It has become a yearly tradition for us.  David Sedaris is my favorite author.  I love his insightful observations of our culture and his masterful descriptions that allow me to see everyday events from a new perspective.  Well, that and his writing makes me laugh out loud. 

Austin has been a stop on David's book tour for many years.  He has outgrown smaller venues and last night's performance at the Long Center For the Performing Arts was sold out.  The announcer introduced David by sharing a conversation that they had before the show.   Several years ago, after out growing the Paramount Theater, David's reading was booked into a large church in Austin. (This is Texas people, the churches are HUGE!)  The crowd in the Long Center chuckled at the idea of David Sedaris, who is known for stretching the limits of acceptable conversational topics, performing in a religious environment.  David told the announcer that he had toned down his performance out of respect for the location.  To which the announcer reminded him that he had said "cocksucker" four times!

My favorite part of hearing David Sedaris read is when he shares entries from his diary.  Last night was no exception.  He manages to make a story about waiting in line for coffee not only hilarious, but a reflection of our society.  The YouTube clip below is David reading a different selection from his diary on Late Night with David Letterman.

David Sedaris is now an enormously successful author.  Those of us who write might have fantasies of making the New York Times best seller list and doing book tours around the world, but last night at the Long Center before the reading started, I took a picture of the audience from just in front of the podium.

Can you imagine reading for a crowd this size?  Four tiers of seating and by showtime there were only a few empty seats.  We laughed at all the right places and applauded vigorously.  I'm not sure of the capacity of the Long Center, but it is well over a thousand people.  David signed books both before and after the reading...there was a long, long line.

This is big time success, but his travel schedule is grueling, a different city every night.  A lot of rewards, but a lot of work too.  I can't wait to hear him again next year.