Things I Considered Writing About On My Cruise to Alaska

I just returned from a seven day cruise to Alaska. Seven days of no phone, no internet, no responsibilities. Well, the phone and internet were available, but I was too cheap to pay the hefty service charges. I did post a quick blurb to my blog when we found free wifi in a McDonald’s in Juneau. So, I didn’t spend any quality time writing, but in those brief periods that I momentarily stumbled out of my self-imposed exile these are the topics that I considered:

• Hey, was that a celebrity? There was a guy who was a dead-on look alike for Andy Rooney; Andy Rooney with slightly better groomed eyebrows. I thought this topic had great promise, but when I looked around the ship, other than the too-old- for- Glee cruise performers, there wasn’t anyone else who came even close to looking like a celebrity. 

• The Deadly Sins on a Cruise Ship: As hard as I looked, I could really only find evidence of two out of seven sins. Anyone who has been on a cruise knows that there’s lots of gluttony going on. Anyone who saw me totally relaxed by day five would have recognized sloth.

• What to Do When Bored by the Splendor of the Glaciers: We were at Hubbard Glacier, a spectacular natural wonder, on a clear sunny day. We heard the “white thunder” and saw dramatic avalanches of ice as the glacier calved. I was surprised that so many passengers sat at the slots in the casino while we cruised one of the world’s most spectacular glaciers. The white and blue face of the glacier passed by the windows of the casino and their eyes were glued to the spinning cherries. There were also hordes of people earning their gluttony badges at the buffet.

• Boat People: The ship demographics were equivalent to an AARP convention…lots of gray hair. For seven days we were citizens of a parallel universe. In the boat world there was always a scooter person working his way through a crowd, “Excuse me. Mind your feet. Excuse me, coming through…” There was a group of women who spent every day sitting in a lounge on deck 4 doing needlepoint, and an Indian couple who we saw over and over again.  She was always three steps behind her husband who was constantly pointing...pointing...pointing, and she walked on stone faced behind him. There were plenty of opportunities to eat and many of the boat people were loading up their plates like it was their last meal. Many visually interesting characters, but very few who were interesting when we were seated with them at formal meals.

• Towel Folding:  Every evening the room steward folded a towel into an adorable animal and left it on the bed (along with chocolate!)  The monkey, dangling from a hanger, was my favorite.  But, what else is there to say about folded towels?  This topic doesn't really transfer into the real world.

All in all, I had a very relaxing seven days and I gained only one pound. So, I guess the only deadly sin that I managed to accomplish was sloth.