Nana Takes the First Step

I love those television programs that show people with clutter problems...not the hoarders who have filled their houses with garbage, but regular people who have piles of stuff in their spare bedrooms.   This afternoon when I was too tired from being retired to do anything, I turned on the TV and discovered that I could watch Peter Walch, Oprah's organization guru, on On Demand.  There went my afternoon!

Peter Walch was helping a couple clean out their bedroom and home office.  The rooms were filled with stuff that the wife had bought on sale.  She had piles of new clothing that she had never worn, in sizes that she couldn't wear.  The clothing took up all available space.  Her husband had moved into a spare bedroom because there was no room to sleep in the master bedroom.  There was an incredible amount of stuff in just two rooms.  Peter Walch helped the couple, especially the woman, reduce their possessions to manageable levels.  At one point he said "No one needs more than 10 pairs of shoes."

Ten pairs of shoes, he can't be serious?  I've got at least 10 pair of black shoes alone.  I don't think I would be able to limit myself to only 10 pairs, but how many is a reasonable number? 

My friend Shawn often reminds me that I'm the only person she knows who has five pairs of pink shoes.  Is five pairs unreasonable? I've got two pairs of heels, loafers, ballet flats, and sandals.  Doesn't everyone need a variety of shoe styles in numerous different colors?

I have shoes in my closet that I haven't worn.  On the  other hand, I have shoes in my closet that are more than just comfortably worn...but they're still good for a few more wearings.

Oregon has four seasons, so one needs shoes for every season.  I can't wear boots in the summer or sandals in the winter.  But, how many pairs of sandals is reasonable? 

The reason I love the organizing shows is because I know that I walk a fine line.  I could so easily find myself buried in stuff.  I'm always looking for ways to keep myself in check.  The television shows that focus on organizing have given me strategies for helping to reduce my personal clutter. 

True confession time...I just counted.  I have 102 pairs of shoes in my closets.  That probably is too many... especially for someone who spends most days inside wearing slippers!  I haven't decided on a reasonable number, but tomorrow I'm going to sort through the shoes.  My goal is to toss at least 20 pairs of shoes.  That would be 20%,  Then again, 80 pairs is still a lot.  I'm already getting anxious, worrying about what shoes I can let go.  Maybe I should look for a 12 step program, or maybe I'll just wait until Peter Walch knocks on my door . 

Social Networks

My cyber friend Linda,  the baglady, recently wrote about maintaining social networks in retirement.  She pointed out that people have differing needs for social contact. Some of us require more social contact than others. Another blog friend, DJan, wrote about the changes to her daily routine since she retired.  One of the benefits of joining the blogging community  has been getting to know other bloggers who are at the same stage of life as me.  I'm constantly learning something new and forced to examine my own thinking.

So the baglady got me thinking about my own social contacts.  One of the things that has been challenging for me in retirement is that I no longer have the casual social connections that I had when I was working.  There are a lot of informal social outings that come about because of daily contact with a group of people.  Someone will mention that there's a craft fair on Saturday and someone else will suggest that it would be fun to go as a group and with little or no effort a weekend becomes full with group activities.  There are automatic invitations to holiday parties when you're working.  There's also an immediate support system when something goes wrong.  You're immediately missed when you don't show up for work.  All that stops when employment ends.

I haven't been diligent in establishing new social contacts or maintaining my relationships with pre-retirement friends.  It takes work and I haven't put forth the effort on a regular basis.  I have enjoyed the few activities that I 've organized.  But, there's the gist of the issue... I have to organize it. I've come to realize that my need for social contact isn't very high.

I don't have a best friend.  I am sometimes envious of Oprah's relationship with her best friend, Gayle...but not envious enough to work at being a better friend.  I think it gets harder to establish friendships as I get older.  There's something so comfortable with old friends.  You don't have to explain the history and they accept you for what you are and forgive you the obvious flaws.  The hard work in building the relationship was done years ago.  The problem with old friends is that things change.  People die, or move away, or get a divorce.  The crowd of old friends is diminishing. 

As I get older, family assumes a greater role in my social network.  They provide all the benefits of old friends and they're always there...usually with only a few snide comments about not having heard from me in a long time.

I live in a rural area.  There aren't a lot of organized social activities in which to participate.  I have a writing group that meets a couple of times a month...I organized it.  I attend the Lions Club meeting every other Wednesday.  I can't bring myself to attend the senior citizen lunches.  My old friend, Dick, invited me to go with him, but I guess I haven't fully accepted that I am a senior.

I think I'm just going to adopt a cat for companionship.

Nana Remembers a Lesson Learned

I posted last week about trivial irritations. Once I started focusing on the things that irritated me it was difficult to stop. All day after I posted I found myself getting irritated and thinking “Oh, I should have put that on the list.”

Readers posted comments of the things that irritated them. Uncle Skip suggested the car on the freeway with the turn signal flashing…for miles…and miles…and miles… Mrs. Midnite reminded me of bus riders who don’t give seats up for other riders who obviously need them. Yeah, that definitely should go on the list. Jules warned me to avoid Kentucky where spitting is a birthright and I got irritated all over again.   I said to myself “Oh, they’re right that irritates me too.”


I was wallowing in irritation.

Then I remembered the quote over on my other blog:

"What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life." – Oprah

Oprah’s a smart woman. If goodness expands if you focus on goodness, the opposite is probably also true. The more I focused on irritations, the more irritations entered my life.

Life is too short to allow the irritations to get to me.  June reminded me that it’s self defeating to count my irritants.   June and Oprah, you are both very wise women and I thank the universe for sending you to remind me.

It’s not like I didn’t know…but, like most lessons in life, sometimes I need to be reminded of what I already know. Once again the universe is sending me messages and reminding me to pay attention.

Lesson learned, or maybe that should be lesson remembered.   I made a list of my blessings and posted them over on my other blog. Click here to read it.

The Universe Speaks to Me About the Golden Years

Those new-age thinkers have a lot of sayings that I tend to roll my eyes at. Yes, I may be a liberal, but that doesn't mean you're going to see me in an ashram chanting anytime soon.

Have you heard them?

"The universe gives you what you need, but you have to be open to hearing it."

"Be open to possibilities."

"The universe continues to send the message until you listen."

Oprah gives lots of examples of this new age principle. First there are little clues and finally, when the intended recipient still doesn't get the message, the universe drops a hammer. The universe breaks the leg of a busy working mom because she didn't listen about taking time for herself. Some people have to learn the lessons the hard way!

Oprah is always asking people what the universe is telling them. It's sort of like a junior high literature class where you're looking for symbolism and the theme in a story you thought was only about a lab rat who got smart.

I do frequently ask myself "What am I supposed to learn from this?" Sometimes the universe's messages aren't very interesting.

Lately I've been learning about being a senior citizen. I learned about bifocals last week. The universe gave me a black eye because I wasn't paying attention. Yes, the universe has been sending me messages. I notice that the ads on my facebook page say "I will not be helpless." Now why does the universe want me to know about "medical emergency alarm systems for independent seniors?"

In the mail last week, mixed among the communications for AARP car insurance and supplementary medical insurance, was a postcard for mobility scooters. I just don't see myself tooling around Safeway in a senior scooter, a segway maybe, but a scooter?

I can't wait to see how the universe responds next. If you see me racing through Walmart on a pink scooter you'll know the universe won, or I'm not any better at decoding messages than I was at George K Porter Junior High.

Oprah Tells Me Who I Am Meant To Be

I took a quiz on Oprah.com that claimed it could help me figure out “Who am I meant to be?” According to the article, the quiz is based on personality science that has identified seven “striving styles” or modes of thought and behavior that direct us to seek satisfaction in different ways. Everyone has elements of each of the seven styles, but most people have one that dominates. Sounded like just what I was looking for in my quest to define my role in my retirement. I’ll include a link at the end of this post.

So, I took the quiz and I tried to be truthful…there’s always a part of me that wonders if I’m really able to see myself as I really am. When I read the results, they rang true. According to the quiz my three highest styles are:
Striving to be in control
Striving to be knowledgeable
Striving o be secure

Here's what they had to say, “You are a leader…and approach everything as though you were born to be in charge. Confident, assertive, and decisive, you know what you want and you go after it.” Yep, that sounds like me…when I know what I want I usually can figure out how to get it. But of course, the article also describes the downside to this style as, “you can become confrontational and domineering, sometimes to the point of being dictatorial. Practice letting someone else take charge on occasion.” Yes, definitely describes me.

The quiz results go on to suggest that I can discover my purpose when I take control of my environment. Finding a decision-making role is key. According to the article, I can find satisfaction when I am given the autonomy to do things my own way. Hummm, guess it is all about me!

Okay, food for thought. The quiz reinforces what I know about myself. So whatever I figure out to do in retirement I need to have autonomy. But perhaps as a first step in changing my life in retirement I’ll start practicing letting others take the lead.

Try the quiz yourself at:

http://www.oprah.com/survey/health/wellnessandprevention/pkgnewyear/20091001-omag-meant-to-be-quiz

Todays learning goal is to figure out how to post links in this blog...I can't seem to get the code right.

Oprah and Retirement

Several weeks ago Oprah announced that she would be ending her talk show and devoting her energies to other projects. Oprah has been an idol of mine for years. I have admired her openness and her commitment to personal growth. She is someone who walks her talk. Oprah is a role model…but I obviously don’t live up to her example. Unlike me, she’s planning ahead for what she will do when she leaves her current job. Oprah is making plans more than a year before she leaves her job. I decided to retire just a few weeks before I left my job and only now, a year after the fact, am I trying to figure out my next steps.

I’m adding attending a taping of the Oprah show to my retirement list. I’ll have to get right on this one; the clock is ticking.