The Internet Changes My Life

Last week my washer started leaking water. My husband said “You really need to buy a new washer.” I like shopping for washing machines about as much as I like going to the dentist or the gynecologist. I can think of a lot of ways to spend money that would be more exciting. On the other hand, the last washer and dryer lasted for more than twenty years, so I won’t have to repeat this shopping experience anytime soon.

So I went to Sears and $1,800.00 later, the washer and dryer are being delivered next Wednesday.

Then my husband says “As long as we’re moving out the old washer and dryer, we should replace the floor.”

So I have to venture out into the world again to the flooring store which is about as enjoyable as an ingrown toenail.  I made a selection and arranged for delivery. The installers showed up the following morning and had the new floor installed in a couple of hours. And once I saw the new floor, I thought we really should paint before we install the new washer and dryer. So, out I went once more to pick up paint samples.

I do not have a gay friend to help me pick out paint colors. In rural Eastern Oregon, they are a rare breed. I’ve been on the waiting list for a gay best friend for years and the décor in my house clearly illustrates that I am decorating deficient. I purchased sample colors in various shades of beige/tan and then I painted test strips on the laundry room walls.

I heard my husband laughing in the office and went to get his opinion on the colors. He is not noted for his color sense, but I need his opinion so that the final choice will not be my fault when it turns out to be hideous. I like to be able to say, “I wanted Spring Fawn, but you told me that Cinnamon Toast was a warmer color.”

He was sitting in front of the computer laughing out loud. “Come here, you’ve got to see this.”

He found a site called People of Walmart and it’s candid photos of people shopping at Walmart. Click on the link below and you’ll see why he was laughing.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Once he stops laughing, he votes for Crushed Peanut which is close enough to Dapper Tan that he’ll think it’s his fault if it’s hideous. I was ready to head out the door to purchase paint when I remembered the people of Walmart. My paint splattered cotton jersey pants and 3XL T-shirt from a Norwegian cruise line accessorized with a green Nike baseball hat might just qualify me for the photo lineup.

I know the internet has changed a lot about how we shop, but now I’m combing my hair and changing clothes before I venture into the world.  All the more reason to be a recluse.