Wednesday, January 16, 2013
WTF Wednesday: Rude Awakening
WTF Wednesday is a semi-regular feature of this blog. It documents the things that have made me pause, slap my forehead and say "What the f**k!" Well, that and I just like saying WTF. I'm retired. I don't have to watch what I say anymore. I'm not any one's role model.
I'll be setting my alarm clock tomorrow. I'm going to Texas to visit my grandchildren. Since I retired the only time I use an alarm clock is when I'm traveling and need to catch an early plane. I still work once in awhile as a substitute in the local school. I choose those assignments carefully, covering for teachers in classes that I enjoy and know something about. You won't find me in a middle school math class. One of the benefits of retirement is that the only time schedule I have to meet is my own. I wake up naturally, usually well after the sun has risen. Yes, retirement is good.
So yesterday morning I was sound asleep. At 5:30 A.M. it was pitch dark and the spouse and I were snug and cozy under our layers of down. The phone shrilled and I groped to answer it...even though it's right next to my bed, it's not easy to find the phone in the dark when woken from a sound sleep.
"Hello, I am calling on behalf of your local school. If you are interested in a job, enter your secret code now."
Our school district uses an automated calling system to contact substitutes. It's taken me quite awhile to learn my secret code, but after two years I can recall it instantly, but at just that moment the light that illuminates the digits on my phone goes out. I frantically reach for the lamp next to the bed and flood the bedroom in harsh white light. There's no question that I am now fully awake. I enter the secret code and the robot voice says...
"I'm sorry. The job I called you about is no longer available."