As I am falling asleep I’m often writing in my head, reworking sentences into perfect prose. Last night I dozed off after writing a wonderful paragraph. I remember thinking that it would be a perfect blog post and that I needed to get it written down first thing in the morning. At dawn’s early light, okay maybe it was more like 10:00, I booted up my laptop and didn’t have anything to write. Not only can’t I remember the perfect sentences, I can’t even remember the topic. So, today’s post is some random thoughts from a recent week substituting.
A few weeks ago I was at a middle school covering a 6th grade reading class. At lunch time I was in the classroom reading the teacher’s lesson plan when a girl came in early and started to chat. After a few general comments she says, “I may run out of the classroom crying because my little brother’s father died last night.”
“Oh, that’s awful,” I tell her. “What happened”
“It happened in his home. I think it’s called a home cide,” she says.
“A homicide?” I ask her. “Someone killed him?”
This child is probably 11 years old and she’s telling me about a murder. She’s 11 and she’s discussing how her mother is worried that she won’t be able to collect social security for the baby because the baby daddy never officially declared paternity and now they had to make sure they got a DNA sample before he was buried. She’s only eleven. She’s a child. Children shouldn’t talk about homicides and DNA and paternity, especially with a substitute teacher that they’ve just met.
I’m a problem solver, a fixer. I’m good in an emergency. I know where to go for help and who to contact. It’s one of the challenges of substituting that the students tell me things and a part of me wants to take charge and make it better. It’s not my role to make it better. I can only listen.
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Sometimes listening is the best thing anyone can do. Your post reminds me of just how much we expect from our teachers. They need to be honored and respected more.
ReplyDeleteEleven years old is a different age in her world than it is in yours.
ReplyDeleteHow very sad. I know what you mean about wanting to fix things when you hear something like this story, but you're right: it's impossible to fix it. I feel really sorry for the girl...
ReplyDeleteListen good, sister.
ReplyDeleteShe needed to tell someone, and you were there!
ReplyDeleteYes, schools are full of stories that are hard to solve.
Some children have to grow up very fast. Poor kid.
ReplyDeleteYou were her sounding board, I'm so happy you took the time to listen to her. She too is probably wondering if there will be enough money for her family to survive. I feel for that little girl, worrying about what will happen next.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe that we are put where we are for a reason. Your reason to be there was to ease this little girl's fears. She needed someone to talk to, and perhaps because she didn't know you, it was easier for her to talk to you. And you listened. You honored this child. As a teacher who sometimes gets too busy, I thank you. Sometimes listening is all we can do.
ReplyDeleteThat is so terrible! Some kids have their childhood snatched away at an early age (speaking from experience). I'm sure she will cope with it and even survive, but not without damage and dysfunction... so sad!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were there for this young girl who has to take all this in her stride and find inner resources to handle it. You helped in that process. Bless you. And her.
ReplyDeleteAnd listening and caring is the very best thing you can do! Thank goodness you were there that day. Something told this young girl she could talk with you. You couldn't fix what was wrong -- which is what Nanas love to do -- but you were there for her. And that matters so much!
ReplyDeleteAs hard as it is to remember, listening helps way more often than actually trying to fix something.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. Kids have access to sooo much stuff that they are desensitized without even realizing it. You're a good person to take in these stories from children who are introduced to way too much way too young these days. I hope everything works out for her family, how truly difficult to have to go through something that crazy no matter what age.
ReplyDeleteI am very glad that you were there for this little girl. I pray everything works out for her.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things to feel helpless about, aren't there? When I was young, I rarely had that experience; I must have thought all problems could be fixed somewhere out there in the vast future. Now? Not so much and it's a hard recognition.
ReplyDeletewow! I hope that all works out okay.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen you in a bit and hoping that all is well in your world...