Friday, August 13, 2010

Nana Discovers Nose Hair and Other Unsightly Truths

In my thirties and early forties I remember hearing my slightly older friends complain about the aging process. I tucked that information away in the back of my brain and when I one day found myself dripping with sweat when the temperature read 60 degrees, I realized that menopause had hit with a vengeance. My girlfriends and I had laughed about all the signs of menopause: the wiry chin hairs that can’t be seen because our eyesight is failing, the memory lapses, and the mood swings. Menopause was a roller coaster, but I adjusted. I bought a large magnifying mirror with a light and was stunned to see whiskers sprouting all over my face. I got new glasses. I carried my datebook with me everywhere and most days I remembered to check it. My doctor gave me medication for the mood swings. At last I was aging gracefully.

At almost 60 I have passed through menopause. Since I retired there is less for me to remember, so I have a much smaller datebook. I quit taking the medications and now I’ll only cry once in awhile at chick flicks…or when the mother dies in Dumbo. I still have my magnifying mirror and last week I noticed something new. Oh my God…where did those nose hairs come from????

No one had told me about nose hair. I swear that the last time I noticed my nose hair it was appropriately tucked away inside my nose, almost invisible.  All of a sudden in my late 50s some long forgotten gene has switched on and told my nose hairs to turn electric black and grow toward the light at the end of the tunnel.   I subscribe to several women’s magazines and I don’t recall ever reading about grooming nose hairs. At Christmas time the ads in the newspaper fliers market nose hair trimmers as a caring gift for that special man in your life. I thought nose hairs were like prostates, solely a challenge for old men.

I just realized that it’s a good thing that very few people that I know in real life read this blog…I know if we were to meet face to face you’d be staring at my nose.  Right?   I know you would be!   Quit looking!!!  I mean it, stop it now!

Oh no! Am I going to start sprouting hairs out my ears next?


  1. o...

    izzat the next thing i have to look forward to?
    i just about gotta handle on the beard!

  2. Hehehe...welcome to my world! I have grown to HATE my magnifying mirror!!

  3. I had a full mustache for 35 years. Until I shaved it, I only concerned myself with ear hairs.

  4. LOLOLOL! Boy, did I need that laugh! Thanks!

  5. I can't stop soon as you mentioned the strange facial hairs, I immediately felt for the one that insists on growing on my upper lip. I trim in constantly and freak out when I forget!

    Nose hair....haven't seen any of those yet, but I'm only 58 so maybe that is a 60 thing. Can't wait!

  6. I'm back, I hope for a while at least

  7. OMG, I'm still at the mood swing/ hot flash stage myself, labouring under the illusion the worst of it will soon be all behind me.. and now you tell me this?? Arrghhhhhhh!!

    I've already stuffed my magnifying mirror to the back of the cupboard, some things I prefer not to see. (Sticking fingers in my ears and trilling, "La la la la".)

    What a brilliant photo you've matched to this post!

  8. Lol Nana, I know all about excess hair but nose hair is still in my future. Thanks for the funny warning, I will start saving for nose trimmers.

  9. Too funny! Just finished reading aloud to my wife...too funny to be sad! Thanks for making our day!


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