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The Windshield Wiper Conservation Program and Other Spousal Quirks
Today is the spouse's birthday. Yesterday we went shopping for his gift. His custom has been to delay the gift purchasing and then for the next month he buys anything that catches his eye and justifies the purchase because it is his birthday. He usually manages to acquire several good toys during the birthday spree. Yesterday was no exception. He selected a new ipad and, what the hell, I bought one for myself even though it wasn't my birthday.
The spouse also bought a metal fire pit for the patio. "I thought the girls would enjoy sitting around the fire and roasting marshmallows," he tells me. Our grandchildren, ages 5 and 6, are coming to stay with us for three weeks this summer. Nothing says fun to a five year old like sticking long metal forks into a raging fire. I've been searching yard sales for princess toys, but the spouse is going to woo them with open flames.
It has been raining for several days. We took the spouse's pickup to the Tri-Cities. The picture above resembles my view out the front window. The spouse is a charter member in the Windshield Wiper Conservation Program, or WWCP. Even in a downpour he keeps the wipers on the lowest setting. By the time the wiper finally starts to sweep across the windshield, the entire surface is covered with water. Apparently members of the WWCP believe that there are a limited number of wipes available to a motorist and it is important maintain a high reserve of PWS (potential wiper swipe). My car is eight years old. I have replaced the wipers once. I am overdue to replace the current wipers. The spouse takes this as evidence of the superiority of the WWCP method. If I had been conserving PWS I would probably still have years of usage left in my wipers. "You let those wipers scrape across a dry windshield and it rips them to shreds," the spouse tells me as we drive blindly down the highway in the rain. There's still a few more days of rain in our forecast. Tomorrow I'm going to buy new wipers, but I'm not adopting the WWCP method.
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I think I'm a member of the WWCP, too. I like to see tides of rainwater being swashed off by the wipers.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! I don't like to drive blind, so I use my wipers with abandon. They need to be replaced every other year or so. It's amazing to me what some people conserve. :-)
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who says you must be able to see through the rain. To which I reply Bullshit; turn them up enough so I can see out the passenger side. One year on a $20 set of blades works for me.
ReplyDeleteIt's true. A dry windshield shreds wipers.
ReplyDeleteOTOH, there's no point in attempting to conserve the wipers in our climate because they have to be replaced at the beginning of the rainy season every year because the summer Sun absolutely destroys them.
I think my husband is of the same ilk! It's almost as if he feels a sense of 'defeat' when he has to succumb to a faster 'wipe speed'!
ReplyDelete'
Ah, husbands are all alike!
ReplyDeleteSo, he shops for a month, eh? We have the same habits, beginning to think about a gift and picking up "possible gifts" for a while before landing on a "real" one.
It's just so darn irritating to hear wipers scratch across a dry windshield, like fingernails on a blackboard.
ReplyDeleteI endlessly switch the wipers from slow to middling to fast. I hate the sound of scraping but I equally hate not being able to see the road. My Beloved is quite different from yours: he never finds anything to buy for himself and he is forever telling me to get the wipers going, as he can't see thing.
ReplyDeleteIt takes all sorts.
That wiper thing must be a man thing. That boy knows how to shop doesn't he?
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to him! I do the same thin for my birthday. When my family asks me what I want, I say, I'll let you know when I see it. When I see it, may be months after my birthday.
ReplyDeleteI drive me wife crazy by not using my wipers, when if she were driving they'd be going full blast!
I laughed out loud at this post. My husband won't turn on the wipers unless there's no visibility at all out the front window. I turn them on when it's sprinkling. I want to be safe and I think he wants to be manly.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is very informative.This is obviously one great post.i keep on reading articles from here.thanks for sharing.. fl windshield replacement
ReplyDeleteThis post is so funny! And a great truthful analysis of the mind of the male species when it comes to conserving things.
ReplyDeleteThank you for my weekend chuckle! I'll look forward to hearing stories about the sharp sticks in roaring fires. :-)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the new purchases and thanks for the giggle :-) Hope your week is great & that it gets sunny...soon.
ReplyDeleteThe very best wipers, when taking cost and performance into consideration, are the Anco 31 series and the Michelin RainForce. With these two wipers, you get the best cleaning for the lowest price.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is also a member of the WWCP! I think he's the charter member of the organization. Enjoy your new iPad - I bought one in April and still love "playing."
ReplyDeleteSo be honest, did you buy them the next day:) Come on fess up:) PS If he changes them himself it's a lot cheaper than the dealer.
ReplyDeleteI am late to the party but had to comment. I burst out laughing about the birthday gift buying method and the wipers. My husband and I don't exchange gifts but your description is similar to Mikey-nomics used in our house. Also the wipers, hub not so much on conservation of said item, just always has them on low, and I can't see out as well (perhaps backseat driver detraction tactics?).
ReplyDeleteI came across your site via (I think) In This Life and low and behold I read about your trip to Vashon which I also alreay read under DJan! Small World! I live in DJan's city.
Best to you, I will be back.
Kitty