Sunday, April 11, 2010

100 Words: Betrayal

One of the blogs I've been reading is Mr London Street at http://mrlondonstreet.blogspot.com/
MLS writes posts of 100 words on topics suggested by his readers.  I suggested that he write on the topic of
"Betrayal."  When he emailed me that he was going to use my suggestion for his post this Sunday, I decided to try and write a 100 word post also.

It is harder than it looks.  I had lots of good words that I had to throw away.  My first effort had 241 words!  This was a good exercise for helping me to determine the essential elements in the story.  I think I will also write the same piece and aim for 500 words...I hate to waste those good words I had to toss out to get down to 100.

Beth sat watching her friends run to waiting cars. Practice ended at 4:30. She shivered in the wind as she scanned the parking lot searching for her mother. Twenty minutes later the lot was empty, the school office was closed and she didn’t have a dime for the pay phone.
This wasn’t the first time Beth had to walk the three miles home. The last five hundred yards were all uphill.

In the house Beth yelled “Mom?”

She found her mother in the living room, a cigarette smoldering in the ashtray. Once again her mother had chosen bourbon and vermouth.

Count em...exactly 100.  Yeah for me!!!  Do you think I communicated the theme of the prompt?

3 comments:

  1. Excellent job! Interesting too to see such a different take on it to mine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excellent writing exercise...and you nailed it!!!

    ReplyDelete

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